Jeopardy Cullen Style
by Alunamai
Summary: “Jacob Black, you look rather pleased. Lets see what you wrote down…” the screen turned up blue. “Nothing. The question was write anything and you got it wrong. I’m speechless. Lets see what you wagered… Eleventy Billion Dollars. That’s not even a real nu
1. Round One

I don't own the Twilight Saga, that belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Jeopardy… Cullen Style

By: Alunamai and AnimeAngel41

Chapter One: Round One

Carlisle POV

"Carlisle?" Edward popped his head into my office and looked at me. "We were wondering if you would like to play a game of Jeopardy?"

"I'll be down in a moment… are we video taping this one?" I asked my son… I knew how out of hand this game could get due to Emmett. We needed to video tape it just so that we could reflect on the shenanigans.

"Well of course I am… he needs to see how he acts… Alice will be filming this… plus we have the set at the High School… and Bella talked us into having Jacob join in to the game.

"Alright."

x-x-x

An hour later

"Welcome to Cullen Jeopardy, I am Carlisle Cullen, your host for this evening. Our contestants are Jacob Black, Edward Cullen, and Emmett Cullen."

Everyone in the audience (Rosalie, Bella, Esme, Jasper, Billy, Sam, Jared, Paul, Emily, Leah, Embry, Quil, Aro, Caius, Marcus, Jane, Heidi, Alex, Demetri, and Felix… the Volturi are visiting.) cheered.

"Alright now for the categories…Exotic Animals, Things That End In Urple, Foreign Flicks, An Album Cover, Japan US Relations, Things To Annoy Your Girl With, Things That Suck Your Blood… honestly… Things That Want Bella… oh dear lord. Jacob, your first, pick a category."

"I'll take Things That Want Bella, for 600, Carlisle."

"He plays the piano."

Beep 

"Emmett?"

"What is your mother?"

"No."

"That's not what your mother said last night." Emmett said.

"And we go to the next category… Edward, would you like pick a category?"

"I'll take Exotic Animals for four hundred."

"The fastest mammal know to man."

Beep 

" Jacob?"

"What is a leech?"

"No. Any one else?"

"What is me?" Edward said.

"No… Emmett?"

"What is… I don't know?"

"Alright… lets just go with foreign flicks four eight hundred then…"

"Ursula Anris." Emmett stated.

"What?"

"Ursula Anris, Elizabeth Danur, and Charo twice."

"That's Foreign Flicks, Emmett. Foreign Flicks. Why don't you pick, Jacob?"

"I shall take Balloons for eight hundred if you please."

"That isn't a category." I said staring at them.

"My mistake, I shall take Balloons for six hundred, if you please."

I stood there a moment staring at them all wondering how the hell they could be _this_ stupid.

"Tell you what , Lets take things that end in "urple" for eight hundred." I waited a moment. "This color ends in "urple."

A buzzer went off.

"Yes, Edward?"

"What is light urple?"

"Wow." I said. Another buzzer went off. "Yes, Jacob Black?"

"I' venture to take a guess. I'll say, who is Jaleel White?"

"What?"

"Is that not the gentlemen who played Urple, the humerous fellow with the glasses that loves cheese?" Jacob stated.

"That's Urkle." A buzzer went off. "Oh good, Emmett wants to say something."

"I thought of some more foreign ladies I snogged."

"Emmett go buy yourself a dog house… you won't be in my room tonight!" Rosalie screamed.

"Lets just go to hot or cold for four hundred." Then weird music played. "And it's a video daily double. Here goes nothing. Please take a look at your monitors."

A video of Aro dancing to Living La Vida Loca came on.

"It's me! Aro Voluri… now is this cup of tea… hot, hot, hot, or cold. Is the cup of tea hot, hot, hot, or cold?" A picture of tea with steam coming out of it appeared on the screen.

They stared blankly at the screen.

"Non of you knows?" I said. "Non of you can figure out if the Hot tea is hot or cold?"

Beep

"Thank god. Jacob Black?"

"Is it iced tea?"

"No! It's Hot tea!"

"Well, then I have no idea." Jacob stated.

"Lets just go to final Jeopardy and the Category is… oh come on! Why would they do this? The Category is, Famous Mothers."

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! My day has come!" Emmett laughed. "Ah! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

"I'm not going to give you the satisfaction!" I said tearing up the cards before me. "The new Category is Anything. Write anything." The final jeopardy music starts to play. "Just write. Use your arm, hand, and special pen and move the pen around. Scribble if you want to. Just make some kind of mark."

The music ended and I stepped up to Emmetts podium.

"Okay, lets get this over with. Emmett, you wrote Below. I don't know why you wrote that, but technically it's a correct answer. You did write something. Lets see what you wagered."

The image pops up as _Me_.

"Me. Below Me."

"HA! Ha, ha!" Emmett laughed.

"Below me." I repeated. He continued to laugh. "I don't get it."

"Oh! I bet you do you English ponse!" He continued on by laughing.

"Proud day for you and your family." I moved on to Jacob Black. "Jacob Black, you look rather pleased. Lets see what you wrote down…" the screen turned up blue. "Nothing. The question was write anything and you got it wrong. I'm speechless. Lets see what you wagered… Eleventy Billion Dollars. That's not even a real number."

"Yet." Jake answered.

"Simply amazing." I moved on. "And finally Edward."

"Thanks Carlisle, I'm so honored to have been here today. There are just so many people I have to thank. I couldn't have done it with out…" Aro gets up and starts dancing. "Carlisle Cullen, the incredible cast and crew of Jeopardy. My Bella who is an incredible and beautiful Human being. That's it."

"Touching." I said and turned to the audience. "That's all for Jeopardy. Regis, you can have them. Goodnight."

A/n: Okay, most of this material belongs to Saturday Night Live. I just had to use it… there will be more cause we can change up whos up here. Thanks for reading. Reviews are welcomed. Flames not so much!

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	2. Authors Note

Okay, I will have a another chapter up soon… just trying to figure out if I should do other game shows as well! You tell me!


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